Sex And Violence [entries|friends|calendar] Punks Not Dead! [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[15 Aug 2005|10:50pm] Well lets see +im home from a good family vacation in one peice +Me and my GF are starting to hang out more hopefully. +i got my car back from being fixed +I get my license in almost two days +I finally saw my other half today that i havent been able to see for a few months +I found all my CD's witch happened to be hiding in my trunk +Im starting to grow up and i can feel it -I have yet to see lessa wich im suprised on how much i miss wakeing up to that stupid voice -Still havent found out whats going on with my new school yet -I have a rash on my chest from all the salt water   But all in all.Im pretty fucking happy. 3 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

I have bee stings on my fucking [04 Aug 2005|11:04pm] X-Im in a mood to start new.To get rid of all the things holding me back and just begin over.Im Looking forward to school starting so i Can start over and show people im capable of what i say.   X-I wish i was able to sleep.For awhile i loved Being an insomniac but now i just hate it.The things i loved to do in the night arent that thrilling anymore.I want to be able to Lay in my bed at 12:00 and fall asleep to music.Im hopeing that my vacation will steady put my sleep schedual because il be so pooped out from the day ill fall asleep early.I just hope it will stay like that.   X-Ive just realized theres so much shit i want to do in my life its rediculouse.Not so much the school and job kind of shit but actual things that mean alot to someone like me. X-Sometimes i wonder what im doing here.Like what made me become who iam.Why im friends with who and why im not friends with someone.Why is that all i care about is music.Thats the one thing that i know will always be there.The one thing that wont turn its back on me.It sooths me but yet at the same time gets me going.As much as people say this i truely mean it.I cannot live without music.One way or another it means the world to me. X-I miss the way we would give eachother bruises.I miss how you held me like i was all that matterd.I miss your kisses.I miss how you would piss me off so fucking much only because then you where here.I miss the look on your face when i would show you up on something.I miss how you kissed me on my forehead. But the most of all i miss how you smell. 2 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[31 Jul 2005|04:31pm] Alright most of you people know how iam.the fact that im a big bitch and i dont give a fuck and all that good stuff but i honestly think that Jade you are being rediculouse. Here is what cracks me up:   -You lost your verginity to a 14 yr old when you were 17. -Every single person you have dated (other then matt right now) was 16 or younger. -You call james a drunk when you drink more or just as much as he does.Even tho i agree with you on the drunk driving thing. -You had nothing wrong with james untill cassie stopped hanging out with us as much. -And you know if you were in cassie's position you'd do the same. -You obviously dont care to much about cassie if you didnt try to understand. -I think its pretty sad that when you posted that shit in your journal even your friends agreed with the age thing. -That mexican/latino thing still gets me kicking. Does anyone find this stuff contradicting besides me???   Im not taking sides her i just think that your seeing it one sided.If you dont care so much then leave it alone.Oh and you telling james to go kill himself is super mature.     18 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[24 Jul 2005|12:44pm] I cant think of anything to say.   ( Me and the Lessa-Nator ) 7 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[20 Jul 2005|04:29pm] [ mood | Sweaty and Sexy haha ] Alright so my pointer finger is infected and every morning when i wake up and everynight before i go to bed i have to pop it and squeeze all the puss out.sick huh? i cant even fucking masterbait.If i do im worried it will all go in my pussy and turn that into a big puss ball and then have to go to the docs then they will be like what happend then ill have to explaine all this shit for an orgasim that i probly didnt even get.All i do is hang out with lessa now adays.You all know i dont call people so you must call me.YOU MUST!!!!!!   Well as of today im sitting here drinking a slurpee eating reese's pieces and laying on my couch watching jerassic park 3 over and over.So little buddies when you kids planing on giving old Er-Bear a call? Hmmmmm id like to know. 3 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[14 Jul 2005|03:59pm] Well yes its summer.Its fucking hotter then hell out.I want to wear pants and a t-shirt and my leather.Come to me winter/fall.come.   ( what they want to do to you and me is to take away social security. ) 8 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[11 Jul 2005|06:46pm]   ( YESTERDAY WAS MY BIRTHDAY! ) 9 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[07 Jul 2005|09:57pm] Cedar point tomorrow..shall be fun to get away.Other then that nothing.got a job at big apple bagels but i turned it down for no reason.what the hell is wrong with me?Its going to come back and kick me in the ass.So my birthdays this sunday.Not to excited like i usually am.this is what happens when you start to grow up.Oh how much i miss the old days.Days when you could walk around and sit at elementary schools and vandalise them and have a great time.All good things have to come to and end right?   ( Examples..... ) 3 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[04 Jul 2005|09:52pm] So sence everyones all complaining every fucking two seconds  let it all out.Post me a comment and complaine so we can all get on with our lives insted of hear you all bitch.Im seriouse.I want to hear whats so important to whine about every single day. i want to know why all your lives are so "stressfull" and "miserable". please enlighten me.         ( GBH? SUBHUMANS? ) 4 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[03 Jul 2005|11:46pm] Well im home.. I wanna Destroy You

[23 Jun 2005|11:02pm] So does anyone need more hair because i have a ton!!!! This is what happens when you dont listen to your firends when they say your hair will fall out really bad one of these days and you bleach your hair more then two times a month and dye it every weekend.Damnit all to hell.I need to learn how to listen.But hwen i see my hair dye just sitting there calling my name..i cant help it..its my baby..ahahahahaha.   SO i keep pulling more and more out.The pile should be half of the hair on my head within the next 30 mins.Im excited.are you? <-----My excited face! 6 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[20 Jun 2005|12:48am] [ mood | lonely ] Alright so we go to mochas i get coffee smoke a good amount of cigs and take some hits off a hooka (spelling?) then we got to st.pats and i insist on going on a tire swing.And of course no its 3 hours later and im still paying for it.I have a tummy ach like no other.Damn.Ive tried everything in the entire world to try to make it go away and nothing works.SHIT!   I love the smell of outside right now thats coming through my front windows.It reminds me of the nights that we would walk around and talk and sit down by the beach.Or even better we would adventure out onto my roof and stare at the stars.I've always said ive hated summer but that smell just brings back everything to me and makes me glad that it is.   X-I feel so clean. X-I feel needy. X-i feel lonely X-I feel Stupid X-I feel ugly X-I feel Fat X-I feel ignored and pushed to the side like everyone always thinks everythings ok with me.Like sence im the jokeing one entertaining one that i can never be seriouse. X-I feel like i have to pee X-I Feel like im searching for something i will never find   God damn all my entrys are just me bitching but i guess this is what these things are used for right?   ( Power Of moonlight ) 2 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[17 Jun 2005|01:28pm] [ mood | groggy ] I dont know whats been wrong with me latly....Im so moody and bitchy and self-ish and just plane mean..I think its just the fact that i keep thinking about haveing someone.I have no luck with boys what so ever.And i dont want  a stupid 16 year old boy who i have to babysit or watch.I just want to HANG OUT with someone even where we can have a good time and not worry about stupid shit.Im begining to understand what people have been saying ot me. Like cassie and what james has always told me.Im now begining to appriciate the fact that james will tell me straight up what he thinks about the guy im with and he is always right in the end.I think im just so egar to be with someone i just pick who ever comes along that says they like me. Hopeing that there the one for me.Why cant i just find one ONE guy who is cool and laid back who can just hang out and who doesnt talk about smoking pot everyday or thinks hes the shit cuz he did this and that.I give up..Maybe its me.I dont think im that bad..am i?   ( I love you...... ) 6 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[14 Jun 2005|12:43pm] Allright so the most realxing funnest days i would have to say are when me and cassie (were muscle women) get in her paddle boat go to the lake and swim and take pictures of dead fish and talk about nessy and how we could be eaten alive right this very second. Alright be prepared!   On another note i dont konw.Im just trying to think of something to write so this whole entry isnt pictures.Ummm yeah that..alright this isnt working.   ( My new hair first! ) 12 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[11 Jun 2005|10:12pm] Are you honestly fucking kidding me.For the past week i have never worne more dress clothes in my entire life. So my aunt mary died so on friday we went to the funeral home for the viewing.It was horrible.I havent felt so bad in my entire life.To see my dad of all people cry just broke me up. the only time ive ever seen him cry was when my mom was diagnosed with cancer.Besides the fact that nobody knew mine and my brothers names let alone even that we were related it just wasnt a great day.So today we went to the church because they were having mass for her and i havent held back crying that much ever.Just the look on my grandmas face when she looked into my aunts cascit was just unbareable.Anyways so they do this thing with like incents to honor their body or something and guess what happens right after??? My other aunts "lady friend" has asthma so she leaves so she doesnt freak out and cough all over and soon enough the mass is over and ass were fallowing the cascit out to the herse she has an asthma attack and passes out all over.Everyones screaming and yelling to call 911 running everywhere to try to find an inhaler while its 100 degress out.So the ambulances come and blah blah and we start the line for the funeral home fallowing the herse.These past two weeks have been the most drama filled sad horribly angry days of my life. i mean she fucking choked on the incents that will "save my aunts body and life". how saving is it when it makes some fucking lady pass out fallowing a dead person in a box. My brother pointed out that me and him were born into the most unlucky family every.Me and him were born into a family that every member has had cancer on both sides.everyone.every single fucking adult in my family had cancer besides my dad.SO theres cancer,obesity,mental instability,diabetes and of course no luck what so ever. so me and my brother basicly expect cancer down the road. Im sorry but if there is a god to me hes a selfish bastard who only thinks about himself.I mean he died for everyone just so the could have a big guilt trip on every single person in the entire world.i mean really he says if you put me as this first and only thing in your life then ill only save you.i mean if he really exists wouldnt you think he would "save " you regardless because hes all forgiving and shit.wouldnt he reward the people for thinking for themselfs like he did instead of taking everything in stone as hes told.I dont know this funeral has brought me to the conclusion that if there is a god then i would rather go to hell then serve him.   Oh yeah and the fact that ive been doing all nighters for the past two weeks and then sleeping for like 3 hrs and doing it for another week isnt helping my stress level.GAH! if this summer is like this the whole time im going to shoot myself in the face. 17 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[08 Jun 2005|04:11pm] (i look cross eyed,jades face looks like shes whore haha and cassie well she just looks like a cute mouse) XXXXXXXXXXX Are you ready to be liberated On this sad side city street Well the birds have been freed from their cages I got freedom and my youth My name is Brody I'm from Melbourne Fitzroy Melbourne Fitzroy Melbourne I grew up on Bell St. then on Bennett St. My mom kicked out my dad for battery Found a way found a way She found a way out of spiritual penury Working single mother in an urban struggle Blames herself now cause I grew up troubled It hit me i got everything I need It hit me i got everything I need My one heart felt too much from the start Ive seen people come and go Living large and living low You can build up your walls sitting on death row Let the curtain fall on your murdered soul You can wash it all down swallow your story Get smacked off your head go down in drumroll glory You wont solve it committing self inflicted crime Go on pull the trigger this will be the last time It hit me, I've got everything I need It hit me, I've got everything I need so. I speak of the truth the truth of the heart Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought Hey you time flies by Theres an everlasting battle for eternal life I love a man from California Hes the prettiest thing we got the same disorder Way you feel is OK its never gonna change anyway It hit me, I got everyone I need It hit me, I got everyone I need Are you ready to be liberated On this sad side city street Well the birds have been freed from their cages I got freedom and my youth yea i got freedom and my youth XXXXXXXXXXXXXX 2 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[03 Jun 2005|03:10pm] So This morning at 8:00 i got a moutha fuckin root cannal...boooooooooo. im drugged up on like 20 diffrent meds and usually this would be cool but its not seeing as its doing nothing for the pain and im still numb and its 3:10.So many things are going on today like cassies b-day,ice cream social,bonfire,prom and im suposto hang out with a bunch of people.If things keep going the way they are right now then fuck that.i staying home watching finding nemo and eating super soft cookies. Happy birthday to one of my best amazing fabulouse stupidest friednds.I love you. I wanna Destroy You

Abuse Me Like I Know You Can. [24 May 2005|09:33pm] Things latly have been dull but yet exciting.Fun but frustrating.It kills me the fact that ive grown so close to you and just when i finally get things straightened out with myself  you have to leave.but hey i guess it ives me more of a reason to get back with the old gang this summer so im excited about that.I like the feeling of knowing that im on good terms with all my friends and not having to worry about it. i mean fuck it.honestly i figure if a lose a freind or two i dont care.who needs 8 million friends anyways.I know so many people but i have no friends.   The actual true Erin that everyone hasnt seen sence probly last summer is coming back.I can feel it and i love it.The whole i dont give a fuck lick my ass hole you stupid twat is also there.im proud.   I feel like im about to re-gurgitate my pills my doc gave me for my "poison Ivy". sick 4 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[17 May 2005|05:04pm] ( Straight Jacket ) 4 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

[08 May 2005|12:23am] Im so tired of feeling nothing.I dont look forward to the next day but yet i want to end the one im in.I think the only time im ever happy is when im asleep.I look forward to the numbness and when all my thoughts are gone so i can lay in content blank and dull.Or when i have the accasional dream of me being happy.The kinds you get when youd do anything for 2 more minutes in the one place where everything is amazing and your truely happy.I dont know what im going to do with myself.I dont think dyeing would be that bad.I think im the only reason why im like this.Its one of those things where you do it to yourself and i know this and thats why i dont understand why i cant just get over it.I dont feel real.I dont feel like im actually living.I feel like im only here to take up space.To be another fuck up kid.Im wasteing away.I want to lay outside on the ground next to a fire on a blanket and just to lay there.Oblivious to you.   ( If anything could be this good again..... ) 2 Fucked The QueenI wanna Destroy You

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]